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Freedom Looks Like This

curiosity is okay

Published 3 months ago • 1 min read

Hi Reader,

How do you wash your hair?

When I travel to places with few black people, folks are so curious about my hair. Last time I was in Vietnam, people wanted to know if my hair is real. This time, in Sapa, someone asked me how I wash my hair.

I was in Sapa for a weekend on my way from Nagoya to London. At a random spot after a hike, a lady asked me how I wash my hair. I smiled and said, "The same way you do." Honestly, I used to get upset about questions like that or comments about my hair. I decided not to be annoyed anymore. Sometimes, I see people who look different than me, and I'm curious about them. Curiousity is okay. In fact, I think that it's essential that we recognize differences. It's the only way that we can appreciate it and notice injustices based on the ways we're different. To me, it's an issue of equity.

So instead of assuming that my hair repels water (which I've also come across in Australia), ask me if you're curious. ;) Just don't touch my hair without permission. And don't be surprised if you ask and I say no.

I used to think that questions about my hair were always a microagression. And occasionally, it is. But often, it's about curiosity. This is a place where we welcome and invite curiosity. So what questions do you have about me?

There are other situations where I do get upset and will be assertive. I’m sharing one of those on Sunday. Stay tuned.

Joyfully,
Damianne

PS: Here's an image post about Sapa:

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Freedom Looks Like This

with Damianne President

A newsletter for women over 40 who are tired of making "good" decisions instead of their own. From the host of Freedom Looks Like This. Solo travel as a way back to yourself.

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